This is a personal note and not a typical commentary on a genial topic as a post of mine usually is.
I just wanted to put this out there because to me it marks a clear developmental milestone which I hope to
briefly cover without getting into the details or the circumstances that came to pass that prompted such a milestone to be achieved.
I learned about a few things that happened in the past over the last week.
It so happens that I was an ignorant victim in these events.
I found out about these events two years too late perhaps.
I was shocked, surprised, deeply hurt, felt humiliated, like I had been made an absolute fool of, and let down while feeling relieved all at the same time.
The biblical saying is accurate, “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” even if not entirely appropriate for use in this context.
As a result of these unsavoury learnings and unfortunate results of it, I found myself at the brink in a way that I hadn’t felt in 3 years now.
It took me a few days to find my bearings. But, I found them. Hopefully this is a sign of things to come because it took me much much longer in the past to get back to a place where I had a clear head and a grateful heart.
Life has a tendency to throw curveballs at you, at this point, you kind of expect that, what you don’t expect is people who you trust to break it in ways you never thought possible and team up with life to throw more your way.
I learned something about myself this past week, I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching, reading up on happiness and life, practicing Vipassana and, putting it into practice.
I learned that I could be kind to those who hurt me even if the way it was caused was unforgivable.
I’m not sure there are any takeaways from this for anyone, this might be the longest post I’ve written pointedly about myself.
But, maybe here’s one, if you can’t be kind to those who cause you pain, then you’re not doing it right.
This truly is the main lesson I’ve learned from everything I’ve read and experienced on this topic.
Whether the teacher be Viktor Frankl, Krishna, Gandhi, several scriptures, my experiences or life itself, this is the main message, this is the essence of growth, this relieves the pain. Atleast for me.
It took me three days to get to this point and I’m happy to have gotten here, reached out and hopefully given some closure to everyone involved.
I think i’m doing ok now, I wish it hadn’t come to this, but, it had to and I have to accept this reality as it is.
I’m grateful for the friends who picked up my call when I was in a state of shock.
I hope you, the reader, never have to face something like this in your life.
Here’s a song for you for getting this far that truly resonates with me in this moment which is why I named this post :
A Quiet Life - By Teho Teardo & Blixa Bargeld
Thank you for reading
Sainath